Healing Family Wounds through Visualization

There is so much power in visualization. If you can see something you want in your mind’s eye, it can become a reality. Our parenting course encourages you to visualize the family of your dreams so you can begin to work towards it. Peace In Your Home Instructor Carmen Adame shares a personal story about how Redirecting Children’s Behavior has helped her and her children heal old wounds and build new bridges.

Take the course that changed Carmen’s life, now online! Learn more here.

The Aftermath of Divorce

Divorces are never easy, but mine was particularly difficult. My children dealt with deep hurt as their father and I went through our high conflict divorce. In December of 2011 they had a ‘fall out’ with their father and stopped speaking with him altogether. My youngest, Maya, age 15, was heartbroken, to say the least, as so much misunderstanding and sadness lingered in her head and in her heart.

Because their father and I had not resolved our conflicts, he believed I was responsible for my children not wanting to see him. I recognized that he must have been devastated as well. I also knew my children loved and needed him very much.

Visualize the Family of Your Dreams

It was around this time that I began taking the Redirecting Children’s Behavior (RCB) Parenting Course. One of the lessons taught is visualizing the family of your dreams.  I recognized how much my children were hurting in the aftermath of the divorce. As I watched my children struggle, I visualized each of them healing the relationship with their father.

I dedicated my efforts to showing my children –by example– how to love and heal themselves. I knew there had to be a way in which they could enjoy their father’s love in spite of how well it worked for me to keep my distance.  I kept my vision for my children to be at peace with themselves so they could accept and respect their father for who he chooses to be with them and for them. Every time I visualized this, I could actually feel the joy for my children as they chose to love their father with no expectations of him being any different.

A Reunion and Reconciliation

My oldest son Jairo, then 20, and Maya took a personal development course together. This also led them to a more open, comfortable, respectful and loving brother-sister relationship. Maya learned that if she stood in her power she could overcome and create anything she wanted. Jairo learned that he was capable of creating a loving family of his own regardless of what he’d learned as a child in the middle of conflict.  Maya shared what she’d learned with her 18-year-old brother Emanuel.

Emanuel took to heart Maya’s hurt and longing to reconnect with their father and through conversations they had about what she had learned about herself,  he went to see him, ‘opening the door’ and making it easier for Maya and Jairo to do the same.

A reunion and a reconciliation happened not long after this. Maya is now standing strong in who she is around her father: pure Love.  Jairo is aware that he has more healing and learning to do and is taking his own steps in order to stand strong and truly enjoy his father’s love.

As for me, I am ready and prepared to make peace with the father of my children whenever he is ready, as we have one very important and strong thing in common: our love for our children.

Peace In Your Home is attainable. Take the Redirecting Children’s Behavior Online Course!

A Work in Progress

Needless to say, my children and I did plenty of counseling as it was highly recommended. However, Redirecting Children’s Behavior made me aware of the importance of staying connected and the power of visualization. My children and I are standing stronger in creating the lives we dream to have. I practice seeing and respecting their needs, I support what brings them joy, I face difficulties and challenges with a sense of faith in myself, and I allow them opportunities to choose what works best for them, even if I don’t agree. I know they are capable of creating the life they dream to have for themselves.

Teaching Keeps Me Focused

Teaching RCB keeps me focused and clear in my vision for creating a peaceful life for myself. Hopefully I can inspire others to want the same for themselves.  I openly share with parents my experiences, my struggles, and my successes. In every session I am reminded that my relationship with my children comes first.   As I help families connect, reconnect, and/or stay connected, my passion for teaching these parenting principles gets deeper. I get to be part of a team where like-minded RCB instructors support and encourage each other to move forward and spread the message that parenting (and living) can be respectful, kind, and peaceful.

I am in the business of creating peace in homes one family at a time. And I begin with mine.

by Carmen Adame

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For the Spanish version of this article, please click here.

Para este articulo en español, oprima aqui

If you would like more information on Carmen Adame, or are interested in taking a live Redirecting Children’s Behavior class with her, please see click here for more information!