Every day we hear from parents whose lives have been transformed by taking a live or online parenting course. What do the kids have to say about it? Do the children see any improvements in their lives? We talk to Redirecting Children’s Behavior Instructor Carmen Adame and her teenaged daughter to find out!

Carmen and Maya: A Mother and Daughter Talk about Parenting Classes

Carmen Adame is a Peace In Your Home Instructor who teaches the renowned parenting course,  Redirecting Children’s Behavior,  in Temecula, California. Anyone who knows her will tell you that Carmen is present, genuine, positive, and totally committed to helping people and families become stronger as individuals and as a unit.

But on this particular day, I didn’t want to talk to Carmen alone. I also wanted to talk to her teenage daughter, Maya. Every day we hear from parents whose lives have been transformed by taking a live or online parenting course. What do the kids have to say about it? Do the children see any improvements in their lives? I was curious to find out.

Meet Maya

Like her mother, 15-year old Maya has a gorgeous, infectious smile.  She is remarkably poised for her age. Maya is Carmen’s youngest, and the only girl. With the words “Peace” spelled out on one set of fingernails, and the word “Love” spelled out on the other, you get an idea of the kind of person she is without her even speaking.

After catching up with Carmen about how her teaching was going, I shift my focus onto Maya. I go straight to the big money question.  “Has parenting training really helped your mom be a better parent?”

I give her my best “you-can-be-straight-with-me” look, hoping she’ll tell me her honest opinion.

“Yes!” she says with a giggle, and without hesitation. Somehow the giggle lets me know that she’s telling the truth.

There’s a Lot Less Yelling Now

Well, this is a good start. I probe some more. “What’s the biggest improvement you think you’ve seen since your mother took parenting training?”

“There’s a lot less yelling now!” says Maya. “Like, if she’s had a bad day at work, she’ll call first and let us know in advance so we can give her some space when she gets home.  She’ll go to her room for a little bit, and when she comes out, she’s in a much better mood.”

“Yes!” agrees Carmen. “I’ve learned to take better care of myself through Redirecting Children’s Behavior! I go in my room, I read a book, I calm down. But I let the kids know what I’m doing so they understand I’m not mad at them. It works great!”

“And so now I do that too,” interjects Maya.  “If I’m having a bad day, I go to my room so I can have my space. And my mom respects my space. We avoid a lot of fights that way.”

Considering Carmen was raising 3 teenagers at the same time, the fact that there is less yelling is impressive on its own. But what other benefits does Maya see?

“Because I Decided It.”

Turns out Maya is also learning about being more responsible and accountable.

“Last semester I came home with a not-so-great science grade on my report card,” Maya begins. “My mom handled it so differently this time than from other times. I knew she was disappointed but she didn’t yell at me. She talked to me about it instead.”

“Naturally, I was not happy with the low grade,” admits Carmen. “But I told Maya this was her report card, not mine. And she had to be accountable to herself for it. I knew I had to let go a little so she would learn.”

Maya explains, “Because my mom talked to me about it nicely instead of just being mad and yelling, I was able to come up with a plan to raise my grades. The next report card, I had a much better grade in Science, because I decided it, not because my Mom made me.”

The Best Thing You’ve Learned from Your Mom

As our time comes to a close, I have one last question to ask Maya. “What do you think is the best thing you’ve learned from your mom since she’s taken parenting classes?”

Maya leans back thoughtfully. “The best thing I learned from my mom is that I know I can take care of myself,” she says confidently.  “Even if I’m on my own and my mom’s not there, I know I’m going to be okay and make the best decisions for myself.”

Isn’t this the goal of parenting? Preparing our kids to take care of themselves? I turn to Carmen, whose her eyes are welling up with pride.